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Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Read this article from my favourite finance blog... You have probably read it through emails in your inbox.

The following was an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Disgusted

The Business Times

THE Kuala Lumpur coroner's court was dealt a bombshell yesterday when a renowned Thai pathologist testified that there was 'an 80 per cent probability' that oppositionist Teoh Beng Hock's death was a homicide.

Mr Teoh, an aide to an opposition lawmaker in Selangor, died on July 16 in the custody of the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) in what the authorities say was a case of suicide. His body was found sprawled on a fifth floor landing outside the Selangor offices of the MACC.

The case has become something of a cause celebre in Malaysia because Mr Teoh was a witness and not a suspect in a corruption investigation. Moreover, he had been due to be married on the day of his death.

Under cross-examination by a lawyer from the Selangor state government, Pornthip Rojanasunand testified that some of the injuries suffered by Mr Teoh were before his fall. She also said that he was alive when he fell but was unconscious judging from the lack of injuries to his wrists and ankles. The pathologist had been hired by the Selangor state government as an expert witness.

Elaborating, Dr Pornthip, who is widely known in Thailand as the 'Defender of the Dead', said that if Mr Teoh had been conscious, there would have been 'reaction wounds' as he sought to instinctively protect himself against the impact.

The Thai pathologist also said that the dead person's external injuries suggested that he had been strangled and had also suffered anal penetration before his fall. Thus he could have passed out from the strangulation or from the pain in his anal region.

The damaging testimony from a forensic expert who shot to prominence from her work in identifying the 2004 tsunami victims and, more recently, in her autopsy of Hollywood star David Carradine, contradicts that of two Malaysian pathologists who have suggested that it was suicide. It is also bound to focus scrutiny on the methods used by the MACC.

The 54-year-old pathologist said that not all of Mr Teoh's injuries were consistent with a fall. The anal injury, she said, 'I have never seen in any case from a fall from a height'.

Dr Pornthip is also the director-general of Thailand's Central Institute of Forensic Science.

Some livid stripes on Mr Teoh's upper thighs were also inconsistent with a fall. Dr Pornthip suggested they were the result of a beating with a stick.

She added that if she had carried out the autopsy on Mr Teoh, she would have cut open the thighs just under the skin to check for internal bleeding in order to confirm her theory.

She also pointed out several 'round' bruises on Mr Teoh's neck, which could mean 'manual strangulation' by fingers.

The skull fracture on Mr Teoh's head, she said, was not typical of an injury from a fall but more compatible with the result of blunt force applied directly to the skull.

'I found contusion on fracture line, so the fracture could be caused by blunt force injury directly on the skull,' she said, explaining why she disagreed with the explanation of the Malaysian doctors

The Malaysian doctors who performed Mr Teoh's autopsy had previously explained that the head injury could have been caused by the momentum of the landing.

'For transfer of force, (you) only find ring fracture at the base of the skull along (the) spinal column, not a linear fracture and not a cervical spine fracture,' Dr Pornthip added. The inquest continues.

A woman's bra which in an emergency can double as a pair of gas masks has won one of the awards handed out at the prestigious Harvard University for the year's most eccentric research.
Cup runneth over: Elena Bodnar (left), winner of the public health prize, straps a portion of a bra she designed that converts into a pair of gas masks to the face of Wolfgang Ketterle, 2001 winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics

The Ig Nobels, a tongue- in-cheek homage to their Scandinavian counterparts, were announced just days before the Nobel committee in Stockholm began awarding its prestigious awards on Monday.

The bra that can be turned into two protective face masks - one for the wearer and the other for whoever else may need one - won its inventors Elena Bodnar, Raphael Lee and Sandra Marijan of Chicago the public health award.

The patent states that each of the bra's cup sections is fitted with a filter device, meaning the wearer can whip it off, and detach each section to fit it over the face.

Another Ig Nobel for chemistry went to three researchers at the Universidad Autonoma de Mexico - Javier Morales, Miguel Apatiga and Victor Castano - for creating diamonds out of tequila.

The literature prize at last week's ceremony went to the Irish police for writing out more than 50 traffic tickets to one Prawo Jazdy, whose name in Polish means 'driver's licence'.

Stephan Bollinger and other doctors at the University of Bern in Switzerland received the peace prize for demonstrating that empty beer bottles are more likely to crack heads in a bar- room brawl than full ones.

The Veterinary Medicine prize was conferred on two researchers from Newcastle University in Britain who discovered that cows with names produce more milk.

The Igs, as they are known, are chosen by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine to highlight scientific achievements that according to its website 'first make people laugh and then make them think'. -- AFP

Another chance in life

Finally, I give myself another chance in life. A chance to do something different, a chance to do something I like, a chance to live a total different life.

I did tried to do something else earlier on. But can't really recall why I gave up. I remembered I did spent a lot of time bringing the 1-1/2" thick textbook in my bag each time I go offshore.

Perhaps I figure out that I am not meant for it. I remembered I have a very simple reason to study economic - to outline the best economic strategy and thus lift everyone out of poverty. To unleash the real freedom for everyone - every single person will be free from poverty, no more people dying from cure-able diseases, and people can fulfill their real potential with proper access to basic necessity and education.

Looking back, it is a very naive thought. Naive enough to thought that the world lack THE economic law that will change everything. Naive enough not to know realize that everyone do know what he/she should do for a better world, but how many people are actually doing? Naive enough to think we will ever be free from our desire. Naive but a great one nevertheless. That is why it is great being young. There is nothing you think you can't do.

So I gave up. And actually thinking deeper, I am not good at it too. At best I will be a average economist, barely impact the world in any sense. Maybe end up in university and share my once dream. Will never know now. Have chosen another path of life.

Many years since passed and now I finally find something that I like to do. Weirdly enough, my new interest will never change any single bit of the world. Maybe will just make it a little worse. For those know know me once, probably will never think the same about me again. I am quite sure it was the real me then, and the real me now. The difference is just everything else had changed.

You know, people always try to give a good reason for every intention they have. I can't, but I like my idea.

So I give myself another chance again. For better or worse, I can say I did tried.